Happy St. Paddy's Day

Whether you are as adventurous as this couple, caught in broad daylight doing it in the rear, or more of a corny card kind of person grab a pint o’ Guinness and enjoy.

Ladies, when you are out and about today, watch out as the gentlemen have likely been told to sneak in some of these St. Paddy’s day pick ups. 

Be ready for the good ole’ “Tip o’ the Trojan to ye!” Try your hand at one of my favorites, “Top of the morning to you.”  After a smile, nod or hello, add this little gem, “Actually I’d like to be on top of you in the morning.” 

Feel free to scout out your own pickup lines. Play with fond memories. Remember those old school magic breakfast charms?  “You look magically delicious, and I just happen to be a cereal lovemaker.”  

Too far out of your comfort zone? Tone it down. You don’t have to be a cereal lovemaker, try something like, "You look magically delicious and I’m hungry."

In general, steer clear of anyone saying things like “Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.” That will never end well. 

Guys, forget cringe-worthy. That's only good for a laugh with your friends. If we have to think twice about what you just said, forget it. Your shirt can be punchy, your attitude still needs to be in check, gentlemanly even.   

Tired of the pickups?

Are your shamrocks refusing to shake?  Give these Irish inspired jokes a whirl. 

For the naughty Christian, "Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?"  For the NSFW crowd, can you imagine, "Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer?  For vanilla, mixed crowd, safe to say to your gram, "How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?" or "Why don't you iron 4-Leaf clovers?" If you haven't guessed yet, scroll to the end for the answers.  

Be safe, have fun, and let your leprechaun shine today! 

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Not sure if casual sex is right for you? Found that special someone and ready for some fireworks?  Tired of the scene and looking for a little me time?   

Answers:

a). He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin  b). Because the grass tickles their balls c). He's Dublin' over with laughter d). Because you don't want to press your luck